One Month Ago Today...

...I lost one of my best life-long friends, Lise Marie Palmer (Macadangdang), in a tragic accident.

One month ago today...Lise's husband, Ryan, lost his wife and unborn baby girl, Faith Marie.

...Lise's 2 young sons, Ray & Mac, lost their mother and sister.

...Lise's parents, Cathy & Craig, lost their only child and only granddaughter.

...and one month ago today countless others lost a family member and/or a dear friend.

It is so hard to believe it has already been one month, yet seems like forever in other ways.  It has been long enough that I, on many occasions, have had something happen or cross my mind and thought "I need to call/text Lise"...and then realize that I can't.  It is such a surreal experience to feel, even for a brief moment, that she is still here. I am trying to be thankful for those moments, as difficult as they are, because I know as more time passes those experiences will become few and far between and will eventually fade away as reality and the finality of her passing truly sets in.  Chris (my husband) has reminded me of that as he has dealt and still is dealing with the loss of both of his parents in the last 5 years to cancer.  He doesn't have those moments anymore with his parents.

This may be ridiculous, but I have felt as if I couldn't blog again until I wrote about Lise and what happened.  Maybe it's just how I process things, but I just couldn't write about anything else on this silly blog without addressing Lise and this situation as this has been one of the most difficult things I have ever had to go through...something that has truly shaken me to the core, as I know it has done for so many.

Lise and I met in the 2nd grade.

She was the first person I ever had a slumber party with.  I will never forget her knocking on our door one evening to ask if I could come stay the night (she lived right up the street from me all growing up!).  :)  I did, and my life has never been the same!

We literally grew up together...went to elementary, junior high, and high school together (and all that comes with).

We played t-ball, softball & basketball together.

We were in each other's weddings and there the day of (or shortly after) the births of our children, and most recently were stay-at-home-mom's together.

She was like a sister that I never had.  Her mom told me that when Lise was little she used to ask her if she could marry me (obviously before we really knew what that all meant!).  HAHA!  Needless to say, we were great great friends.

Lise was an amazing person.  She was a doer....always on the move.  She was one of those people who was hard to keep up with and when you spent an extended period of time with her you were exhausted by the end of it!  She had a joy for life that was contagious.  She loved whatever she was doing/eating/playing/etc. and had a way of drawing others to herself and bringing a group of people together.

She was a fantastic and loving wife, mother, daughter, and friend.  She was a stay-at-home-mom and lived for her boys.  She loved her husband more than anything in the world and would do anything for him.  Her mom was one of her best friends.

She was a talented and competitive athlete and loved to work out and eat healthy (but she also had a huge sweet tooth!).

She was beautiful on the inside and out.

She had a great sense of humor and knew how to laugh at herself.  I have so many great memories of laughing with/at Lise.  She definitely didn't take herself too seriously.  I can still hear her saying "SHOOT!" after doing/saying something ridiculous in the way that only Lise could.

Above all, though, Lise had an amazing faith.  One that I was blessed to watch grow over the years.  She was always asking questions and wanted to know all the answers to defend her faith, yet was able to admit she didn't have all the answers and have a child-like faith and just BELIEVE.  I have learned a lot about Lise's faith in her passing and am so encouraged and challenged by her.  It has been amazing to see how truly real her faith was through the lives she has touched and the testimony that her life was to so many.  She wanted all of her friends and family to come to the Lord (if they hadn't already), and have life everlasting as she and Faith now have.

Her life and passing have been a huge reminder that the only truly important things in this life are:
1) Our relationship/love with & for God
2) Our relationship/love with & for others

~ Luke 10:25-28 ~²⁵ On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” ²⁶ “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” ²⁷ He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” ²⁸ “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” 

I feel like I could say so much more about Lise...we were friends for 22+ years and I miss her like crazy...it still doesn't feel real.  But, for now I am just going to share some recent prayers from Lise's prayer journal that her family had shared at her memorial service.  They are so amazing and I am so thankful for them.

(She had this verse written in lipstick on her bathroom mirror)

~ Proverbs 4:20-22 ~ 

I attend to your word Lord God. I keep it in the midst of my heart. It is life to me and health to all my flesh. 

Lise's Prayers:

Lord I pray that you give me a heart of purity, thoughts and actions. I know that I will sin because I am human. But I can realize it and repent as soon as I know I am sinning. Lord, let me be a loving daughter, wife, mom and friend. Thank you for my family and sweet baby girl, and for allowing me to work out for my own sanity!

Lord, I pray that I have a change of heart, and before I pray and ask for things, to think first if it is really for me or for God. I would absolutely love to bring others to you, to have fun not partying, but following you. Show me and my husband how to live in the light and bring others to you. I love you and thank you for my children and my healthy baby girl! I am sorry for being so emotional yesterday, this pregnancy is making me nutso...must be this girl!

Lord, I pray that I have absolutely no inhibitions and follow your word, your guidance by the holy spirit daily. I don't want to wait to see to believe. I want to live by FAITH! Thank you for my family and baby girl! Thank you for being able to work out all through pregnancy!

Lord, I pray that you will use me as a testimony to others to trust your scripture, to believe 110% in everything I read that you have done or will do. I don't want to be like Thomas who didn't believe in you until he saw you. It will be too late for me, and for everyone if I wait until your time back or until I die. Lord, thank you for everything in my life, including my baby girl!

(Lise's last prayer:)
Lord, my prayer tonight is of thanks. Thank you for giving Ryan the day off and for a much needed family vacation! I love that this is the perfect timing in our lives to have one. Thank you again for everything. Please watch over our safe trip to Chelan and back. I love you.
Lise.

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When something like this happens, it is completely natural to ask "why" and "what-if...".  I have done that a lot myself, and still do it pretty much on a daily basis whenever I think about Lise and Faith.  However, I fully trust that God is in control and that it was Lise & Faith's time to go HOME.  God is good...all the time...even when we don't understand why things happen the way they do.  He has a bigger plan!

~ Romans 8:28 ~ 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Here are some additional links for more info:

Article about Lise's accident

Another more detailed article: "A Tale of Fate and Faith..."

Lise's obituary & online funeral home guest book

Lise & Faith Memorial Run

Lise Marie Palmer (Macadangdang)
June 6, 1981 - May 27, 2011

Thank you so much for keeping the Palmer and Macadangdang families in your prayers...